This is the most powerful message of the year!
Earth’s personal dummy is reporting LIVE on toilet paper this morning so get the recycled stuff or get bamboo toilet paper, because after all the fracking we’ve done to #yourmutha why shouldn’t your butt be sore too?
Brentin Mock has written something here that cries out for action. Humans, it’s time to shape up or ship out.
Please read this article that outlines an environmental conundrum for the human race in America.
For me and my dummy the answer is quite simple. You put love in the middle, you do the RIGHT thing – You take care of these kids – you make sure they’re safe and make sure they get a fair chance at life on ME. They were born in America and they don’t deserve to be raised in filth like Flint.
#YourMutha needs the humans with the big brains to start working together to come up with plans for more civilized societies. In the United States of America there are kids being raised in conditions that are so deplorable it’s negligent manslaughter for anyone in America to stand by and do nothing.
These kids in Flint MI are not just someone else’s kids – they are the children of America. It’s our duty as Americans and more importantly as human beings to make sure no child in this country is ever raised in such deplorable conditions.
Yes, it’s hard to control how kids are raised halfway across the world, but here in our own backyards there are kids going to elementary schools not even a mile away from a biomass energy plant.
Forcing kids to go to school next to a place that is emitting toxic waste on a massive level is condemning every child in the school to death. This is insanity and it must be stopped. HELP THE KIDS OF FLINT! And urge the EPA to HUMAN UP and start doing the right thing.
It’s time to mourn people. My laptop has died. It’s not just my laptop it’s Earth’s laptop. It might’ve been the Katy Perry video I made that killed it. It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever done if not the worst. Yes and I thought Katy Perry was bad but the video I made was badder, baby.
And now Earth’s computer is dead. I’m arranging for the funeral for this weekend which is also my son’s birthday so there will be balloons.
Yes, this means that Earth’s personal dummy needs to get another laptop.
Its time to sell a lot of shirts …. since she only gets two dollars on every shirt she sells … Zazzle takes the rest!
Those terrible greedy Zazzlers.
Oh, what is to become of me? My only place I ever put solutions was on my computer. Now my place for solutions has turned into a screaming banshee with red squares. Holy Christmas Candy! The ding dang computer has gone Minecraft on itself! That’s exactly what it looks like! I just figured it out. The ridiculous computer looks like Minecraft!
I’m going to turn it on and take a picture of it so I can show you.
Holy handstands Batman! it’s all better!
Now that’s what I call a miracle!
It’s all better now. I can’t believe it it’s all better. The computer is working. It’s quit playing Minecraft on itself and ceased screaming. My Photoshop is still here, my Final Cut Pro is still here and I if all my memories are still here then we’re good to go!
I promise for as long as I live I will never produce another Katy Perry video.
Yes, she lost reality in Griffith Park this weekend while frolicking in Travel Town. Now she’s resorted to making spoofs on Katy Perry and dog kissing!
At least her dog doesn’t French kiss. Actually, I think a tongue did sneak out there once and right up the ole’ nostril hole. You see, humans. This is the key to happiness!
Follow Jill Gatsby’s example. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed or under the weather … make a video like this with French Kissing dogs and babies. It’s a guarantee to turn anyone’s day around.
Now if we could just introduce Dog Kissing to the radicals in the Middle East … perhaps there could be peace.
AND NOW FOR THE BAD NEWS ….
NOW WOULD RATHER HAVE ISIS AT YOUR DOOR OR HOOKWORM IN YOUR MOUTH?
I say more HOOKWORM and less WAR! Bring on the kissing! Perhaps you could give your dog a little mouth wash before you engage fully …. and buy the sport a little Sonicare Toothbrush while you’re at to keep those teeth fresh and clean!
CALL #YOURMUTHA TODAY AND LEAVE A MESSAGE. TELL HER ALL YOUR TROUBLES! SHE’SLL GIVE YOU ALL HER SOLUTIONS ON THE EARTH SHOW coming in March! Got issues today? Leave a message! Maybe she’ll call you back LIVE online!
#YOURMUTHA – 424-MOM-8283 – THAT’S 424-666-8283 (Yeah! It’s devilish!)
This is a great article, folks! I encourage everyone out there to start cleaning out all the good stuff that MALWART – I mean Walmart leaves for the landfills! What scum they are. Don’t let thousands of dollars of goods go to the landfill, go dumpster diving like this guy who is raking in $250,000.00 a year with this endeavor!
Well … if you don’t hear from Earth’s Dummy for a while you can conclude I’m at the bottom of a trash can somewhere looking for treasure.
One man’s trash may be another man’s treasure, but that holds true for Matt Malone much more than most people.